Women seem to all do these two things in common: take thing personally and shift the blame to something outside their control. They realize later that they are ashamed of their actions, but something is hardwired in their nature making them this way. There are two reasons for this, and they come from the same place. For one, she is not meant to solve problems. She is meant to relax, be beautiful, and be rewarded and given children. Evolutionary, she didn’t have to plan cities, or a village, hunt, or protect the tribe. She just hung back and hid as the problems were solved. This is why women are non-confrontation as well as risk-averse.
Because they were meant to be provided for, rather than be the provider, the protector, and the problem-solver, they are perpetual victims. If anything goes wrong, it’s never their fault. Why should they worry about anything? It’s the man’s job to fix things. This is the hardwired pattern, and despite changes in society, the pattern in the brain and psyche hasn’t changed.
As a result, women take criticism very personally. As David Deida said in The Way of The Superior Man: “do not criticize women.” I found this difficult to accept at the time, but now from my experience with making content that female viewers watch, and from my relationships, and my experience in a naturopathic medical school comprised of 80% females, women usually cannot handle criticism. Older more mature women who are in their late twenties at the minimum might be able to withstand criticism, especially if she holds a job. She is expected to overcome her nature in order to cooperate with others as part of a team.
Otherwise however, criticism is a threat to the woman’s self-identity. Why should this be the case? To answer that, let’s ask ourselves another question. Who can survive on their own better, a man or a woman? The answer is a man. Now, remember, we’re not talking about life in a modern society. We’re talking about life in a tribe, because that is where we came from and we had to cooperate to build families and survive. Today we don’t have to do that, which is one reason why relationships are getting more complicated.
Women tend to get bored easily. They ask for adventures. In the story Aladdin, the woman gets taken on a magic carpet ride. It’s never a woman offering an adventure to a man. It’s the man, who is interesting, charming, and a go-getter, who does all this. Without a man, a woman is nothing and has little direction. This is where the disease hysteria came from. Hippocrates, the grandfather of modern medicine wrote that the cure for hysteria was a strong man. Today, this disease is marked as sexist by lonely single feminists, but perhaps there is some truth to the notion that without a strong man, a woman doesn’t have as much direction in her life. Modern society can make up for it. Can women be successful as widows? Yes. But notice that there is no male equivalent for the term widow, implying that women need men more than men need women.
Of course, we both need each other to create a successful society and to create healthy families. But in times of crisis, the world needs men to step in and be heroes. There are heroines, but they are far and few between.
If men are better at survival and protection than women, it means that women have a different set of skills. They are nurturing, sensitive, and caring, which helps children develop properly. But it also means that women aren’t as important. Thus, when a woman faces criticism, she faces the threat of being a nobody. Of having nothing to turn back on. This is perhaps why single feminists take criticism more harshly than other women. They don’t have masculine men in their lives that respect them, so are struggling to deal with life on their own.
Feminists who are married however might be better at facing some criticism, but it’s in her nature to complain without understanding the deeper context of what she is complaining about, as she is not a problem solver or a deep thinker most of the time. She has to be calm, provided for, and loved to access her logical brain. If she is faced with a crisis, her instinct to protect herself, avoid confrontation and retreat will kick in. This is how criticism affects her.
Finally, if she takes criticism more personally than a man does, how can she blame herself for anything? By doing so, she would be criticizing herself, which would destroy her self-image. This is why overweight women in the United States are averse to fat-shaming. How can they feel at peace with themselves if they realize that the extra fat is not attractive? This is why the body positivity movement exists for women but not men. Men aren’t perpetual victims. If we are obese, we either accept it and don’t really care, or we work to fix it. For women, they certainly may want to fix it and they are perhaps even bigger consumers in the fitness industry than men, but they are more likely to convince themselves that being overweight can be attractive, as evidenced by body positivity “models.” Again, why is there no male body positivity model out there as success as Ashley Graham or Tess Holliday? For women to be at peace with such a high body weight, she has to make weight and body positivity the central most important issue in her life. Otherwise, she is nothing. She has nothing to fall back on. She realizes the reality, that she cannot do anything on her own, and is worthless.
We have created a society that champions women like this, and it is a unique privilege women have today. They are perpetual victims, even while making men the true victims. It would be sexist and misogynistic to state that men are victims for having to witness the abdominal growth of modern women. It’s true in a sense. As seeing beautiful women lowers our stress levels and increases our testosterone. Seeing unattractive women won’t have this effect, and it could actually have the opposite. Perhaps being unsightly as a woman is a form of abuse to mankind. But to suggest such a thing would be heresy today.
What is this effect I speak of, that a beautiful woman has a man? The effect is to motivate us to be better men. This is the power of femininity. But since women today don’t value femininity, how can men be as masculine? How can they rise to challenges, take the call to provide, and be a champion, when women don’t value what makes them different from men?
Being a victim is hardwired in her DNA. And that’s not always a bad thing, since it calls on men to protect women. But men today will not be compelled to provide or protect a woman who doesn’t need or want that from men, yet can still behave as the victim that should have been protected.