Some women complain that men don’t care about them after sex. This is because he has achieved his goal. You need to give him a reason to care about you beyond your body. It seems as if the woman in the tweet above did not realize this.
Perhaps her notion of “[having] her” isn’t copulation, however in another reply she hints at it being the case.
She elaborates here that the man in question stopped doting on the woman in question after he “secured” her as a mate. I’m not exactly sure what her definition of this is, but what is clear is that the situation being described involves the woman experiencing the man showing less interest now that he “has” her. She likes him very much, and she gave herself up for him, but he lost interest, rather suddenly it seems.
Since it sounds like “securing her as a mate” and “[having] her” sound like one-time events, I am going to take it that the man lost interest in the woman after sex. She failed to realize one very important thing women must know about men: that they are more sexually motivated than women.
Women today are helping us achieve our goals better than ever, by sexualizing and objectifying themselves in the competition for attention amongst their peers. They give us almost nothing to look forward to other than feel validated by shagging someone with a nice body and face. Turn to Instagram and you find hoards of college-aged women posing for their insta like it’s a part-time modeling gig. They look up to “boss slay queens” who lather on pounds of toxic chemicals on their face to make them look like sexually desirable mannequins. They don’t advertise how they’d be amazing caretakers, supporters, and nurturing people in a man’s life. Consequently, he becomes interested in your body, and the only part of him that is activated when he is around you is his penis. Other than that, the conversation is forced, tactical, and conditional on the prospect of having sex.They don’t advertise how they’d be amazing caretakers, supporters, and nurturing people in a man’s life. Click To Tweet
Whether you realize it or not, you live in this culture and may be picking up some bad habits as a result. I’ve seen plenty of conservative or traditional women on Instagram who fall into the trap of being seductive. As the Bible states: a seductive woman is a trap more bitter than death (Ecclesiastes 7:26). A man’s sexual desire for this woman can lead him to making wrong decisions, but I believe that this verse can also teach women today that the “trap” men fall into is liking you not for who you are but simply for the sexual lust you inspire in him.As the Bible states: a seductive woman is a trap more bitter than death. A man's sexual desire for this woman can lead him to making wrong decisions, but I believe that this verse can also teach women today that the "trap" men fall into is liking… Click To Tweet
We see this seductive culture in the selfies they take and narcissistic self-talk these insecure girls and women subject themselves to. Although a woman should be appreciated for her beauty, due to our modern, convenience lifestyles, we take for granted other parts of a relationship which mattered traditionally. Like knowing how to cook delicious and nourishing meals. Or being a supporting human being. And of course, parenting. Taking selfies doesn’t teach girls how to be supportive. It teaches them to be selfish. See? Selfie and selfish. It goes together.
Growing up in traditional home and watching a man and woman work together however does teach women how to grow other part of their personality that lead to healthy relationships. Who does that anymore? What else are women to learn without positive role models?
The problem today is many people form relationships based off physical attraction. It’s good to be attracted to your partner but if you have sex quickly, much of a man’s interest disappears because you haven’t shown him what else he’s going to get from you. Sex should be something he is rewarded with for sticking around in the first place. But too many women today are loose and give it up too quickly for a man they’re attracted to, and then complain that he didn’t take care of her enough.
When a relationship forms from physical attraction or lust, you communicate to each other that you are interested in having fun now, and maybe later, but not definitely. Countless women have complained to me about relationships where they should have waited longer before having sex. You don’t have to wait until marriage. But it should be 3 months in my opinion at least.
What has to happen is that he has to become emotionally involved and attached. This happens through non-sexual bonding, and forming a deeper friendship with you. Not only is this process beautiful but it also protects you from being hurt. If you have sex, you will have even deeper feelings, and then if you haven’t figured out if you guys can work together through difficult times, which will naturally arise, and then the relationship ends, you will get even more hurt. Repeat his process time and time again and what happens? You go numb and are permanently unable to form healthy relationships ever again.
An example is a “polyamorous” woman who decided after 6 men left her in a row that there’s no point to dating. She might as well just use men for sex. But then when her “polyamorous” partner became more interested in another woman and emotionally distanced himself from her, she was hurt. I’ve spoken to another “polyamorous” woman who was interested in me sexually. She was waiting for me in Boston, while I lived in Portland. During that process she met a guy she liked. But then relationship problems happened and he wasn’t that interested. Partly because of her birth control, she had a lot of mood swings and was in tears over the situation more than she should have been. Despite being “polyamorous” her nature was to bond with the man and feel special. Even though she told me she hooked up with multiple guys per week in college, her nature, even as a “poly” woman, is to be monogamous.
Polyamory is just another word for sex addition, and it breeds sociopathy.
So ladies, what you need to know is when he “doted” on you and made you feel “special” he was sexually interested in you. This sexual interest manifests as charisma, confidence, good humor, and a great conversation. I’ve noticed that when I don’t ejaculate for a long period of time, I can get extremely seductive myself around women because my desire to have sex with them is so great. I will be even better at making them feel special, until I achieve my goal.
So in the cause highlighted in the above tweet, the man was likely just horny and saw you as an amazing opportunity to relieve his sexual urges. That doesn’t sound too special does it? It isn’t. That’s why it’s your task to not fall for the sweet talk but rather, think practically. What’s going to make this relationships work out for you? How do your values align? Do you see yourself with this person 30 years from now? The best way to know that of course, is to spend a lot of time with that person and go through ups and downs. It is not by having sex early on and then expecting that he will stick around. It’s not his fault either. It’s his biology. You will be tempted too early on, but hold off.
Show him what you have to offer to his life, and he better be able to offer something reciprocal in turn, and it’s not just a nice face or personality. It should be something practical that makes it likely that you two will last through thick and thin. When you both feel that that is established, then having sex is less likely to result in him pulling away suddenly.