Femininity discourse has a long history, as—to no surprise—past traditionalists actually valued it, and worked towards empowering femininity, rather than extinguishing it. Femininity was a force—not just a state of being—that had transformative power upon husbands and other women. As I read about what modern people call antiquated beliefs, I see that some things simply have not, and will not change. What is it that cannot change? The power of femininity. It cannot change because it is rooted in who we are as human beings: God’s children.
If you believe in evolution*, the message does not change, as femininity and masculinity are forces inside of us that we develop as we mature into adulthood. Unfortunately, modern values quash femininity, as the incentive to be feminine ultimately does rely on a man being her provider. Here, the woman must depend on the man for a good life, and she must be feminine in the first place to earn his heart, so that he will be willing to provide for her.
Please do not confuse flaunting your butt on Instagram as a feminine virtue that attracts men. Like candy, this only attracts men to consume you, not cherish you. Yes, your butt becomes an object that seeks consumption, and you are the actor in objectifying your own body when you post your butt to Instagram. The femininity we are describing in this post does not inspire lust in a man; on the contrary it creates meaning, and purpose, a goal not shared by vain pursuits. Maybe that’s why the three traits we are about to discuss are a triad of virtue, rather than vulgarity, the only quality your average young Gen Z brat aspires towards today.
*For the record I am open to creationism as a theory explaining our existence. As a child, I pondered how the first human came to being. Then as I learned about evolution in schools, while simultaneously learning that creationism was ludicrous, I failed to see how the theory could explain how the first human could arise in Africa and then migrate and evolve into different races. I never questioned this discrepancy between my education and my belief, but I wondered: why did humans not spring forth in different regions of the world independently of each other? The notion that we all have one common ancestor isn’t something I understand to this day, but of course, I haven’t studied the matter exhaustively enough to have the most informed opinion. Further, if we came from hominid species, when did the first human come forth, and who was he, or she, born to? And would this hominid not have to give birth to both a boy and a girl so they could reproduce with each other to create the next generation? This would imply that the first humans committed incest. Anyway, I’ll continue on this train of thought another time.
Independence and privilege promised women empowerment and liberation. But why do they still seem so unhappy today? Perhaps it is true—women do need, and rely upon, a stable male partner to be happy. To buttress this notion, we do indeed see some successful feminists who are happily married with children (examples include Jill Filipovic and Jessica Valenti). Some of them probably marry weak men however, which is another subject we will not delve into for the sake of this article.
Of course, feminists are never unified on any issue, so it should be no surprise that despite a minority of feminists being married, I see a growing weariness and perhaps even disdain for dating men, with some who are so frustrated, they even propose to their dogs for marriage after hundreds of men find no place in their heart for them. Another wretched young woman who wears make up that makes her face look like the smashed remains of an ashtray were smeared on her face—paler than the whitest wall in any home—angrily DM’ed me that she prefers dating women.* Case and point—and when I say feminist, as in the example just cited, I imply anyone and everyone who participates in, voluntarily or without consciously knowing, in their own liberation.
*Every single feminist thus far who has left vitriol in my comments on Instagram has some unfeminine character flaw that is blatantly obvious upon inspecting her profile.
So what is the alternative?
A document published in 1587 (that’s four hundred and thirty one years ago), shared three virtues that feminine women should follow if they want to be cherished by men and have a happy relationship with their husband. This short story, titled Penelope’s Web, written by Robert Greene, was both a story about romance while providing advice on conduct. In this era, a genre of literature called conduct literature inspired women learn to behave properly. Indeed, in America not too long ago, women were taught how to be “charming.” Miss the old days? Me too. Hashtag #MeToo! #MeThree!
In this story, a woman named Penelope awaits the return of the man she wishes to marry, Odysseus. However, she had not seen him in ten years, as he went to fight in a war. And rumors had it that he was dead. Nevertheless, Penelope declined advances from potential suitors, and kept busy weaving a “web,” telling suitors that once she was finished, she would choose one of them. She would weave away during the day, then unweave afterwards so that she could continue waiting for her true love to return.
Penelope remained chaste, and her loyalty to Odysseus was known far and wide. Her loyalty earned her a special position of authority over women, and she was wise enough to give advice to her maids. In the story, she explains the three feminine virtues to her maids, discussing one each night, in a particular order of importance. These virtues are powerful, and they are intended to appease a husband and be a good wife, something that was valuable once upon a time.
To the modern man and woman, they will sound ridiculous. However, I choose to write about them because the ills of modern relationships could be prevented or cured with these virtues. They are: obedience, chastity and silence. As Penelope told her maids:
“I cannot thinke (quoth Penelope) that there is any husband so bad, which the honest government of his wife may not in time refourme, especially if she keepe those three speciall poynts that are requisite in every woman, Obedience, Chastitie, and Silence, three such graces, Nurse, as may reclayme the most gracelesse husband in the world.“Source: Penelope’s Web
What did Penelope mean by this? Should you be obedient, chaste and silent around men? Is that going to get them attracted to you? Let’s realize that so much has changed in the landscape of dating. In this era, men courted women. There was no concept, to my knowledge, of boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends with benefits. Thus, the goal of these virtues is to have power within a relationship, where you don’t plan to leave it for someone better, because that’s simply not an option.
With this in mind, let’s examine each of the three virtues Penelope discusses with her maids and ponder if they could transform relationships for modern women today in any capacity similar to that of women living in the 1500’s.
Below are two quotes about the first feminine virtue: obedience.
“there is no greater persuasion to allay the choleric humour and froward disposition of men than obedience.”
“…a wise woman ought to thinke her husbands maners the lawes of her life, which if they be good, she must take as a forme of her actions, if they bee bad, she must brooke with patience.“
What these two quotes suggest is that a man who is angry and irritable (“choleric humour” and “froward” in the first quote) can be “persuaded” to be nicer by being obedient. The second quote suggests that a woman should respect her husband as the authority, and even if his actions are “bad,” a woman should be patient and trust him.
The notion of being obedient however sounds oppressive. Women might try to be obedient but silently suffer. Does this mean they are unhappy when things don’t always go their way? Men must realize that to lead a woman he must bear the storm of her emotions and learn to steer his actions in the right direction through this storm. Perhaps this is why the Bible recommended that women don’t nag, because it is in their nature to react, be emotional, and not think clearly and rationally. I wonder if Penelope knew this, or if for other reasons, the culture she lived in recommended that women take the back seat and let men make the most important decisions.
Men don’t like to be stepped on, especially by women. Feminists assert that these men are afraid of women. The truth is, men aren’t afraid of women with power, and they certainly will respect women who treat their employees or anyone under them well. That’s not the issue. The issue is that here, the belief is that only men should lead, and it is certainly sexist. The Bible for example forbids women to be pastors—they cannot have authority over men.
Whatever the reason for this is, men do like it when women let us lead, instead of trying to assert their dominance in the workforce or in relationships. These same feminists have tremendous problems in their love lives because they’re taking the role of men. If they learned to be obedient, they would soothe and calm men and make themselves more endearing.
Now, obedience wasn’t a passive act. It was a conscious decision with the aim of having a powerful effect upon the husband. Today, we’d consider bad behavior by husbands “abuse” or perhaps less criminally, “toxic.” Some irrational women have told me that male anger is abuse. But the reality is that it is natural for a man to get upset, frustrated and annoyed at his wife. And part of that is his fault, but equally, it is her fault. And if she changes her behavior, she can change his. Women today aren’t willing to see how they are capable of doing that. Well, if you’re reading this, you’re investing in the right approach already!
My personal experience interacting with virgin women is that they have softer and more pure hearts. They are more endearing and you will want to fall in love with them if their character is excellent in other ways as well. Modern women on the other hand are giving their attention to hundreds of thousands of men at once (if we consider the impressions of their Instagram butt pictures), and see no reason to be loyal to one man. They assert that being a whore doesn’t lower their value. In Penelope’s era, things were much different. Have a look at the following quotes:
“Socrates, whom Apollo termed the wisest man in Greece, affirmed that the greatest fortress and defence that nature had given to a woman for the preservation of her reputation and honour was chastity, which lost and violated, there remaineth nothing but shame and infamy.“Penelope’s Web (1587)
Female chastity gave a woman honor once upon a time. Perhaps it showed that her maternal skills will be greater than that of the loose woman , as, in those pre-birth control days, the consequence of sex was more likely to be pregnancy, and therefore, a wise woman would be choosy before agreeing to become intimate with one man. This monogamous impulse does not oppress women. It probably empowers them and sets up their lives up for success in the future.
“And experience itself teacheth us that as nothing more doth ruinate fame and credit than voluptuousness, so nothing getteth more honour & glory than chastity.“Penelope’s Web
It’s truly a shame that humanity has reversed the trend highlighted in the above quote. Being a whore actually makes you more popular today, although, whores will find it hard to find a committed partner. I watched an interview of a former female porn star several months ago where I remember the interviewee lamenting that men weren’t interested in dating her seriously. She was perplexed, because of course, modern women have no agency. They are not responsible for their actions and everything is a man’s fault.
The men she came across are very simple; they know that they can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. And as the last quote about this illustrates, Penelope and her maids might have known this too."And experience itself teacheth us that as nothing more doth ruinate fame and credit than voluptuousness, so nothing getteth more honour & glory than chastity." Click To Tweet
A virgin keeps her legs closed until her love proposes to her. And by doing such, she earns respect and separates herself from women who have given in to desires of the flesh, or voluptuousness as it was termed in the quote above. And lastly:
“Hipsicratea, being demanded what was her richest jewel, answered, chastity, alluding to the opinion of Crates the philosopher, who was wont to say: that is an ornament that adorneth, and that thing adorneth a woman which maketh her more honourable, and this is not done by jewels of gold, emeralds, precious stones, or sumptuous attire, but by everything that causeth her to be accounted honest, wise, humble, and chaste.“Penelope’s Web
The takeaway from the above quote is that a promiscuous woman with the nicest clothes and jewels cannot possess the same honor as a humble and chaste woman. The desperate modern Instathots of today’s era share everything but their most intimate body parts for attention and glory, but are seen as objects, because that’s all they have to offer. They don’t have the inner glory that a humble, honest, wise and chaste virgin has. Men who value these women are vain; they mistake likes on Instagram with glory. But if they met Penelope, there would be no comparison because Penelope was a true catch.
I absolutely love how “misogynistic” and sexist this the final feminine virtue, silence, is. Just imagine how the feminazi snowflakes melt upon hearing that a woman should be “silent” in order to improve her husband’s behavior. Indeed, this may be the most progressive idea feminists have ever come across. I am very much amuseth.
“Many inconveniences grow of the intemperancie of the tongue, as dissention and strife in a house, whereas contrarywise nothing more appeaseth choller nor sheweth modes- tie then silence.”Penelope’s Web
I recall a couple in New York City this summer arguing over something. The husband seemed powerless. The woman seemed like she was driving him up the wall. If only she learned to be humble and silent, they wouldn’t have this problem I thought. I also wondered if things would be better if he was allowed to properly discipline her. After all, a boomer informed me once that wife beating jokes were popular in the United States just two generations ago. We laughed at disciplining women. Now it’s like suicide to suggest anything of the sort and I feel I must explain myself. But hey, it was an honest thought I had in my head: “if he could just smack her, would she behave?” Don’t blame me!
The quote above professes that a woman who doesn’t keep her mouth shut can create a lot of strife in the house. If she shuts up and lets the man do the thinking and talking, he will be happier, even if he’s pissed off, and might be more modest as well. This is the power of femininity. By being cute, quiet and submissive, the man you love will not only will be turned on by your sweetness, he will treat you like a princess. Does it sound too good to be true? Well, if you haven’t tried it, and your relationships are failing, maybe you should shut up for once and give it a shot?
I would also recommend acting weak and meek, like you need help, while coming across as if you don’t appreciate his behavior but won’t tell him lest he hurts you. If he’s a normal male with no mental health issues, he will turn around and an instinct in him will turn him into a hero for the damsel in distress he so adores.
Unfortunately today, the law wields power over the relationship, granting you the right to nag incessantly, and then claim you were abused when he yells at you out of frustration, or that he harmed your child’s safety. So please, soothe your man and let him know that you disagree with these laws and you would prefer if he was the authority over you instead of the government. A new kind of chivalrous masculinity might just arise in this man and you might be pleasantly surprised.
The problem is there are so many broken people today this advice might not work. But it’s worth a shot, and considering the relationship problems feminists have, I think these three forgotten traits could do a lot to improve women’s love lives.
Obedience, chastity, and silence are virtues that once upon a time motivated men to propose to a woman and regard her as honorable. Although most women reading this likely have a sex partner count of at least five, they can still learn to be more obedient and silent around a man they wish to form a long-term bond with to potentially earn his undying love and affection.
One criticism of this piece might be that picking one piece of literature from the 1500’s and suggesting it will benefit modern people when our culture and values have changed so much is a form of “cherry-picking.” After all, if we are to go back in time to those days, why don’t we do other things people did back then? Like kill each other more often (broad generalization however).
Let’s focus on relationships folks. Look around. Women are writing love poems about breaking up with men because they cannot remain chaste and choose desires of the flesh. They watch TV shows glorifying slutty behavior, telling young girls that their worth does not change when they gain weight and get passed around, and if they are not given everything they feel they are entitled to, they blame men for their issues (*eye roll) and proclaim that things just aren’t equal enough yet (I interviewed several high school girls on gender equality who all repeated to me that things aren’t equal enough between men and women–needless to say they are all brainwashed).
If feminists were in happy relationships, and if their cause empowered men within relationships, I might say that Penelope’s views are antiquated and not worth revisiting. But instead, I see hope when I listen to Penelope. I see that once upon a time, a culture bred women who respected male authority, because they had no way out, and despite how oppressive that may seem to nagging women, it brought out a type of femininity that men are parched of today. Ladies, consider bringing back these virtues, and perhaps you will notice that your actions are like watering a dying plant, which begins to prosper again once it tastes one of its most essential nutrient. If you are a feminine woman and you complain that masculine men are going extinct, perhaps you can bring them back by exploring your femininity. If nothing comes of it, please let me know, as it’s important we process real experiences to inform how we should move forward with traditional wisdom.
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