I know I’m blaming the guy for what happened. We shouldn’t have to be so perfect today to ensure a good outcome in a marriage. We should just get most things right, and she should get most things right. But today, it seems like men have to get almost everything right, women have to get nothing right, but they are still entitled to everything under the sun.But today, it seems like men have to get almost everything right, women have to get nothing right, but they are still entitled to everything under the sun. Click To Tweet
I know this is a broad generalization, but this is what it feels like when I come across stories like Techlead’s on YouTube. His wife recently left him and abducted their child. He let her get away with it however which is the subject of today’s post. He was too nice to her, too accepting, too non-judgmental. Non-judgment is a hoax–everyone is judging everyone all the time. Just get smarter at judging and you will proceed more smoothly in life.
I’ve covered my position in the video below. Here I’ll briefly summarize what happened.
Techlead’s ex-wife one day packed her bags, took his son and left for Japan. She had “forced” him to sign a notarized form letting her leave the country with his child. He signed it thinking things would never get as bad as they got. He states that the relationship became more and more expensive with time, and her standards increased. He stated that women can become gold-diggers with time, implying that his ex-wife became one. Let’s look at some of the facts of this case:
- He would buy her gifts to make up for disagreements
- A $30 dollar birthday gift went unnoticed: she told him he didn’t get her anything for her birthday
- She “cussed out” his parents while they stayed with in-laws temporarily
- She took his son out all day to avoid being with parents. When he told her he doesn’t approve, she retaliated and took him to Japan
- There, she demanded that he find them an apartment or she won’t return
- He found her an apartment and things did not improve because she was still upset at his parents
- She “forced” him to sign a form giving her the legal right to take his child and move to Japan
- She one day packed up her bags and left with his son
- She filed for divorce and wants half his money
- Techlead stated he felt like he was climbing a mountain but now he does not know if he will ever get to the top due to child support and alimony payments
Of course, the woman is at fault here. But when we understand that she has a certain nature, and that it cannot change, we get better at seeing what Techlead didn’t do right to profit from it. Many men in the MGTOW community believe that it is impossible to profit from female nature because female desire is a bottomless pit. One reason feminism is a problem is because women always will want more. They are never satisfied they say.
This may be true, as I’ve had women in my audience explain to me why hypergamy couldn’t be defeated. They stated that they just want the “best”, and that’s why money is important. But more money doesn’t mean a better life and relationship, so if they want the “best” for their children that essentially implies they are using us to give them a life for their children. Notice how they want us to give to them. At least their maternal instinct is strong, but they probably love differently than men do, which is a central red pill tenet. Surely, men can provide enough for a woman, but what if it’s never enough?
It’s easy to think this way when we see what happened to Techlead. However, when we look closer, we will see that many problems arose well before the divorce. He bought her gifts to make up for disagreements, instead of holding her accountable or solving the root of the problem. I understand that he had significant wealth, but emotions cannot be bought, and gifts do not treat the underlying cause of the conflict. Gifts may treat it symptomatically, by temporarily abating the discomfort. As Techlead explained, they had a lot of fun when times were good, which led to them never talking about their problems. He said she was non-confrontational and held in anger and resentment. What seems to be a Japanese woman commented in another video where he was interviewed by Graham Stephan, another YouTuber, and explained that this is part of Japanese culture.
In the replies under this comment, she linked us to an article explaining that child abduction by wives is common in Japan. Perhaps this culture does not know how to deal with their problems. I’m the stark opposite. I deal with things as they arise and make a big deal out of what others perceive as nothing, but there’s always a reason for it (it’s because I know there could be bigger problems later if the smaller ones aren’t dealt with first). Clearly, a Japanese woman could never handle me.
His choice to solve problems with money may have been a central cause of their split.
I’m not wealthy. But I’ve always known that buying a woman a gift to solve relationship problems cannot possibly work. If I was wealthy would that change? I most certainly hope not and do not think it would. In fact, I wouldn’t tolerate a woman who would want me to buy her gifts because I have money. The first thing I would do is make it known that she and I do not share the same values. He clearly did not do that, as he stated that $30 still feels like a lot to him. He bought her a $30 birthday present once, which he felt was thoughtful despite being inexpensive, and she later complained that he did not buy her anything for her birthday. Was she always this way or did he buy her too many things and create someone who equated expensive gifts with a higher quality of life?
Where he went wrong was not standing up for his emotional needs, which is having a supportive woman by his side that appreciates his efforts. It’s a tragedy that this woman was not that woman, yet because of the ways the laws are set up, she is entitled to his hard-earned money. She paid zero consequences for her actions.
Buying a woman a gift seems charismatic in a way. Like giving her a home, and being a provider. There’s a soft, sweet spot inside every man that wants to give to the weaker sex. And there’s a soft-spot in every woman who wants us to give to her in this capacity. But buying a gift when things aren’t working out isn’t nurturing this soft spot. In those instances, listening is more important. It’s clear that emotionally this relationship had issues that neither party was equipped at the time to solve.
His provider instinct became hijacked eventually
There is a connection between him being sweet and giving gifts and notarizing his own death. The prototypical nice guy will do anything and everything to please a woman. He is emotionally more resilient than the woman naturally, and does not play the victim, like the woman does. Since the woman is the weaker sex, he is compelled to save her at all costs.
When she takes the son out all day and he realizes this is a problem, there is only one way she can feel that it is acceptable to retaliate and take him to Japan, especially after being rude to his parents. What is this one way? Knowing that she won’t suffer the consequences. If you’re a high-value man, you will be sought after by many women who want what you have for themselves and your future children. But she has to work for it. This woman did not have to work for his money. She was given it because he loved her and is a gentle, kind, wonderful soul, as many nice-guys can be (except for Elliot Rodgers, the entitled nice-guy).
When you put women to work, you will find that they are willing to be challenged in order to earn your approval. You have options, right? Because if you don’t, maybe you’ll come across as if you have no standards. This man had options, and he did not demonstrate this enough. And it has a strange effect on women where they lose respect for you, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this woman had little respect for Techlead.
Unfortunately, respect is earned, it is not given. As much as religious women may try to unconditionally respect their husbands, he has to follow certain rules and codes of masculine conduct that make it easier for her to respect him. These religious texts include codes of conduct to ensure a healthy outcome. For example, the Bible states that a man should not be tempted by a woman’s softness. It’s almost as if it’s telling us to be smarter than to fall too quickly for a woman. Ecclesiastes 7:26-27 states:
I discovered that a seductive woman is a trap more bitter than death. Her passion is a snare, and her soft hands are chains. Those who are pleasing to God will escape her, but sinners will be caught in her snare…Only one out of a thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman!
Perhaps whoever wrote this was a bitter man, as women commonly assume when faced with criticism, or perhaps it is the word of God (as Christians believe) which means it is a fundamental truth. It’s not easy to interpret the last sentence, which makes it sound like all women are sinners, but additional context likely explains it further. I like the first part more Another verse I like is Proverbs 11:22.
A beautiful woman lacking discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.
What this verse suggests is that a gold ring in a pig’s snout, covered in a pig’s nasty nasal mucoid secretions, is worthless, just as is a woman that behaves poorly. If we think about the actions of modern women, it makes sense why so many men are bitter. It’s because they invest in women that are like a gold ring in a pig’s snout and thus they did not get an adequate return on their investment. Further, they were foolish enough to get caught in her snare. The solution is to date smarter and set standards. Then, perhaps marriage and having children might be worth the risk in today’s feminist dystopia.
He did not lay down the law
Unfortunately, we do have to take responsibility for some of women’s childish ways. Hippocrates, the grandfather of modern medicine, described a condition known as “hysteria,” where women develop strange neurological abnormalities and essentially go crazy. The cure he stated was a man. He realized that we were necessary of creating order and stability in a woman’s life. His views are deemed sexist today, but there is a reason why men and women are different. We have different roles and we need each other. A man has a responsibility to lead a woman and control her ways. A woman has a responsibility to be supportive and giving, and take care of his children. She is a nurturer and is responsible for maintaining peace.
When a man however does not lay down the law, she does not know what to do. She cannot think of it on her own. Her nature is to be untamed, and thus, without the masculine law in place (patriarchy), she thinks she can do whatever she wants. There is no end in sight. And that’s what happens with feminism. Although I want to sometimes think modern women do have morals, when society has shifted so much to favor women, they often end up feeling like they are above morals or even the law. And that’s why following religious texts can help people. No I am not advocating for any religion, but religious women often have values that are much better for relationships. They aren’t perfect though, and they still need the law laid down by a man in their life. But since they have the religious text laying down the law, it gives them some structure and order.
Techlead’s story is heartbreaking. I hate seeing men doing well to have their financial situation jeopardized by a conniving woman. As Techlead states, one problem with California alimony laws as they pertain to wealthy Silicon Valley techpreneurs and engineers is that often the breadwinner is required to pay half his or her income to the former spouse for half the duration of the marriage. This means that the ex-spouse could move anywhere in the country and have a very high standard of living whereas since the cost of living is so high in Silicon Valley the breadwinner will have to lower his standard of living because his or her financial situation is 50% of what it was. And Silicon Valley guys getting divorced is not uncommon.
Men’s rights is more important than ever today, and I sincerely hope Techlead’s story can inspire some kind of change. Thankfully, the marriage rate in the United States is going down. I would never marry a modern American woman, and this is coming from an American. In this case, foreign-born women who come to the United States end up with the same level of delusional entitlement. That being said, not all women seek to destroy after divorce and their stories likely aren’t heard as much as stories like these which hurt people very badly.
Love my work and want to donate? Join my SubscribeStar or buy me a coffee on Ko-Fi. Your support helps me fight for traditional values while being censored by YouTube. You can also donate directly through PayPal.