There is a pernicious influence of environment on our lives. It’s one of the strongest influences. If you obtained a degree in the humanities, you were taught however to ignore the other main influence of your behavior: biology. In the first part of this series, I asked you to check in with yourself. And that includes checking in with your biology.
I believe that this act helps us connect to what our subconscious is telling us. Are our actions in alignment with what we truly believe? With what is truly coming from our hearts? That was step one. Step two involves asking a follow-up question: What does it take to get to that place of alignment?
It takes several more steps, and the first one is looking around.
Step Two: Look Around
Look at examples of role models in pop culture and society. Why do we still see magazines featuring Michelle Obama? It’s 2019, not 2009. (It’s likely because the liberals just need to cope and are traumatized). Michelle Obama is not a feminine woman. She is a feminist.
Or how about Kamala Harris, a presidential candidate? Watch the way she yells and pesters Brett Kavanaugh, because she is convinced he is lying. 1:36 is a good example.
Not the most feminine behavior.
What about Tulsi Gabbard, yet another female Democratic candidate? She seems more feminine on the surface, but her voice is quite deep (listen to the video below). I think her calm demeanor is something women could learn from, but unfortunately, we see women with deeper voices looking for positions of power quite often. She is also a veteran, which is a great thing, but it says something about her femininity. You won’t hear many women with high-pitched voices marching ahead to achieve all their ambitious goals. Unless their voice is squeaky like Elizabeth Warren’s.
It might sound mean, but the deepening of the voice is a hormonal effect (see this study*). Tulsi Gabbard was likely exposed to more androgens at an early age, which deepened her voice. Could there be a correlation then with her career-focus? I believe there certainly is, as testosterone doesn’t just make men men. It also increases metabolism and gives us fortitude. Women with strong estrogenic features (large eyes, full lips, wide hips) don’t wish to work very hard. They would rather stay at home.
*I quote: “Increased production of sex hormones in normal female subjects during adrenarche and gonadarche induces growth of the larynx, causing a rapid decrease in vocal pitch.” This is not abnormal, but my question is how can it affect women’s behavior. Are women with deeper voices more masculine? I believe the answer depends on the duration of exposure to virilizing hormones in youth.
Let’s shift gears and look at pop culture celebrities. Ariana Grande. She’s someone I get asked about every now and then. Is she feminine? On the surface yes. She is still in her prime physically, but let’s look at her behavior. She is a proud feminist. How do I know? She has long hair, and it isn’t purple. She’s also not 100 lbs overweight. But you don’t need those visible signs to be a feminist.
It’s in what she believes and says. She got into a heated Twitter exchange with Piers Morgan last year, who has staunchly opposed feminism for being hypocritical. It started when he criticized Ellen Degenerate for ogling men’s bodies on her show. He made the point that if men did that it would be seen as creepy and women should be held to the same standards. It’s true. It does feel creepy when women do it, even if they’re attractive. It’s not a feminine way to appreciate a man.
And Ariana did one thing that only modern women who don’t respect men do. She tried her hand at a belittling insult.
She claims that Piers is seeking relevancy. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter. All of it is coming from Ariana’s emotional state, which is tense and defensive, so she feels the need to attack. But feminine women do not behave in this manner. Nobody, including women, find it inspiring. The energy here is attacking, insulting, and stressed. A feminine woman deflects this with her grace. If she makes a mistake she is humble and respects other people’s opinions. If they are wrong, she doesn’t feel the need to attack. Only insecure, modern women do that.A feminine woman deflects this with her grace. If she makes a mistake she is humble and respects other people's opinions. Click To Tweet
And here in the same thread, a couple tweets earlier, we see her reiterate a common feminist motto:
It’s her choice. It doesn’t matter what men think. Well guess what anti-feminist readers, men will respect you more if you are modest. If you want to gain fame and attention using your body, he won’t want to date you as badly because he doesn’t feel like he has as much control over you.
And this is where the conversation ends for feminists. They think that control is a bad thing, when it doesn’t have to be. Men are meant to control women. And women like to be controlled by men. It’s an art and it’s more complicated than it sounds. Women should have some freedom of course, but should they have this much freedom? Where they take pictures of themselves naked to show it to the world?
Surely, the female body and the sexuality oozing off it draws a lot of attention. Monetizing it is a novel opportunity, especially when you do it yourself with your phone, and without an agent dictating your every move. Sure, people did it in the past, like Marilyn Monroe. But she didn’t have the freedom to take a nude selfie and post it on her Instagram. This novel opportunity gives women the additional choice to share their sexuality with the entire world. Men won’t admit it to you right away, but they’re not entirely comfortable with that. They can surely get used to it if it’s part of a culture that finds it acceptable (modern culture), but deep down, they feel that you’re not as special anymore. Sure, there might be only one guy she’s sleeping with, but there’s still less magic to her allure.
And what if others do see her have sex from an online video? Is she as special? No–that magic is now gone. There are numerous other reasons other than not feeling a deep sense of loyalty to this type of woman that makes Ariana’s idea of being “naked and dignified” a bad influence on young women. When they pick up on this sort of thing, they are damaging their love life. Ariana Grande has some biological femininity, but the way she expresses it is anything but feminine. Do you want to be like her?
Some might argue that if men don’t feel that a woman is as loyal when she posts nude pictures of herself on the internet, he must be insecure. Beware when women come back with insults like this. Sure, men have a need to ensure paternity. They want to know that you are theirs and theirs only. This once used to be a sweet idea, but somehow people now think that this is overly controlling or possessive. It is natural. And women should respect that, unless they deliberately want to be disrespectful.
I bring up examples of celebrities because not many of them are embracing their femininity today. Many in Hollywood get trained to be feminists with torture and sexual abuse (see the episode of the MSGA podcast embedded below). So you have to be careful when you’re following big names, because many of them have some kind of strange influence propelling their career. And they become absorbed by it and it’s not who they really are. This message of the strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man didn’t exist in pop culture 50 years ago.
But just because it exists everywhere now doesn’t mean that it cannot be defeated. Traditional-minded women are longing for more positive role models of femininity. They don’t want to do what modern women do. And they include atheists as well as Christians.
Check in with yourself, and then look around at the female role models in your life. How successful are they emotionally? Are they divorced? Do they disrespect men and still end up in a happy relationship? Do they seem happy to you? Would you want to be like them? Do they want to please men? Do they want to be a good girlfriend or a good wife?
Ask yourself these questions, and you will be on the path to reclaiming your femininity.