Flashy moves, makeouts, number exchanges, and her leading you back into her apartment. Sound like a dream? It’s the typical life of a successful pick-up artist. Selling ‘seduction’ is quite simple. Get a guy’s hopes up and tell him that his life will improve if he learns to spit ‘game,’ a form of social interaction that is borderline sociopathic and could make you look like you’re on the spectrum.
Indeed, most men who get into PUA as it is abbreviated don’t have good social skills. They are shy, dorky, and lack the natural swag emanating off star-football players who get all the girls. These guys want to be like that stud. PUA’s sell them that dream–that anyone can learn this.
It is absolutely true that a young man can learn to be more confident, charming, and sexually attractive with practice. What is less clear is what effect this has on society. How chasing a woman to gratify your sexual desires could actually be harmful. I haven’t met a single guy who has done ‘pick up’ or just gone out regularly to sleep with as many women as possible eventually realize there’s something harmful about it, or end up with seriously broken relationships.
In the video below, a well-known pick up artist who has been teaching it for over 15 years now demonstrates how ‘having fun’–lingo for being addicted to performing clownish antics to attract women as a grown man–helped him get a make out with a drunk girl with chubby arms.* The lesson here is that if you’re having a lot of fun by yourself and your friends, you will naturally end up with crazy experiences like this.
*Pickup artist-wannabees are so obsessed with validating themselves they will compromise on their standards just for the possibility of a lay. Any lay will do. This is unhealthy mentally. It’s much better to be with one amazing women than five women who don’t do it for you.
What happened couldn’t be further from the truth. Watch it below.
Here’s What Really Happened.
First, RSD Tyler knows he can get a make out because the woman is receptive enough to it. You can just tell. So he’s filming content, and getting one on camera could help him sell bootcamps and such. The truth however is that it’s not necessary to actually make out with her to keep her attention. He says later in the video he’s just doing it to entertain himself, so it’s not actually about getting the girl. But PUA’s teach guys that sexual escalation is an important element of getting a girl to sleep with you on the same night you meet her.
Making out with random girls is fun Tyler says, and this could help him get laid later in the night. It gets him in ‘state.’ Can you think of a normal male who goes out to clubs and makes out with random girls for fun just to put himself in the right mood to finally get laid with someone? These women are treated like a means to an end. There’s no heart and soul in this kind of game. It’s pure sex addiction. It doesn’t matter how amazing the girl is. PUA’s just care about having sex, because without it, they’ll feel like losers.
Real game looks quite boring. You can attract women without making the same joke about snorting over and over again. Yes, the girl in the clip is laughing and having fun, but that’s not a metric of success. It’s a natural reaction to someone being really silly. The concerning thing is that Tyler is not in the moment–he’s calculating and deliberate, and in this sense, his techniques aren’t designed to forge healthy relationships. Instead, they are borderline sociopathic.
Now should we say forging healthier relationships is morally superior to pleasing the self? Yes I think so, as healthy relationships create stable families. RSD Tyler has two children. The average guy who learns PUA and then ends up with two kids isn’t going to have the best life afterwards. It’s great though that Tyler takes care of them when he can, but if those children’s lives would be better if their father wasn’t a sex addict is up for debate.
When you’re cool, funny, and good at getting in a woman’s pants, the woman/women you knock up get over it eventually. You have some degree of status. But it’s not fair to the mother, unless you guys don’t see much of a future together. What normal human beings do is they bond with each other and celebrate life. RSD Tyler acts like a teenage boy, while running a successful business that sells the cheapest thing of all: sex.
What really happened in the above clip is the following:
- Women go out and get drunk.
- They are open to meeting men
- Two decent men with style and a sense of humor approach them
- They are down, because that’s all it takes
Game isn’t complicated. RSD Tyler knows this of course and would certainly agree with much of what I am saying. My issue with pickup artistry is that it harms women. It also leads to a feeling of emptiness. Neil Strauss, one of the original pickup artists, who became known for his infamous book ‘Game,’ had the same problem. He was dating ten girls at once, and loved it. He’s a 5’5” scrawny dude (I’ve met him and he’s a great person and does not really teach game anymore but occasionally he takes people to Las Vegas to practice) who learned to attract women. That’s awesome.
But he took it too far and had to check in to rehab for sex addiction. His relationship with his girlfriend, and future wife, was almost destroyed. He healed it, but now they are divorced. One reason could be because PUA does not teach you to respect what women offer. It does not teach you to truly respect and love the supportive beings they are. It teaches you to hack their minds to unlock their sexuality. In a sexually liberated society, this is quite simple. Dress somewhat well, smile, have fun and be social, and it is very easy to get women to sleep with you.
But here are some questions you should ask to determine if it’s a wise idea:
- Does she regret it afterwards? Even if it was good sex?
- Does she want more than just sex?
- Do you want more than just sex?
- How many hours per week do you spend practicing PUA?
- How much money do you spend every weekend?
- Is PUA harming your ability to form healthy relationships with women?
- Are you so obsessed with it that you are spending less time with your real friends, rather than your pickup friends?
I have only touched the surface here. The issues with what became PUA are too great to share in one article. But in sum, it turns men into sex addicts. They think that in order to be successful they need to constantly be having sex with new women each month or week. If they don’t achieve this they become miserable. Their worth becomes attached to their lay count. And for some, they are never able to form healthy relationships with a woman again. To them, a woman is just for sex. Not someone who could support you, raise your children, and make your life so fulfilling you’d look back at PUA and laugh at how childish it is.